I'm not gonna quit...

So after my 5th date of Christmas with Mr. May, you may have thought I was done. And in any other circumstances I probably would have been. Except... I met date #10 a few days before and I was holding out for that date, because I knew I was going to like him. After all, I picked him out myself! :)

One night, I decided to go out on the town looking for a date, because it seemed that people trying to set me up with someone, weren't actually interested in setting me up with someone I might be compatable with, but rather the first single person that popped to their mind. Not cool.

I started off at the Blitz Ladd. Close to my house. There was a football game on. I didn't really care what was on, I just wanted to sit at the bar and meet some more sports-minded people and maybe, hopefully a potential date or two.

There were these two men sitting at the bar of mixed race who were pretty sexy, so I sat 2 chairs away from them not to be too obvious. I ordered myself a beer. Windmere Heffeweisen. Yum!

Well as I was trying to eavesdrop and drop a smile and a chuckle every now and then their way to see if they would try to invite me into their conversation, this older blonde woman decides to sit down. She was probably in her mid-late 40's. Total Cougar Status, as these men were probably somewhere in their mid-20's.

She was totally cock blocking me. Not cool. She even started chatting them up and turned her back to me as to make sure I wasn't part of the conversation. I decided to just watch the game instead and finish my beer. I obviously needed to go elsewhere because this lady had already claimed her territory. Sheesh!

Well then came the twist. Her older man/partner/significant other... whatever you wanted to call him showed up. She looked apologetic to him for flirting with the boys, and then quickly introduced her man to me.

The next 20 minutes consisted of me chatting it up with her man, while she continued to flirt with the boys. And then she started flirting with me. I felt like the couple was trying to get some big orgy or something out of it, and it got super awkward. The lady asked if she could be my date, and then asked her man if that was OK. She was dead serious. It was time to go.

Next stop, dive bar on Division? I thought I had hit gold before I went into this bar, because there were obviously going to be people in there watching the game. It was just half-time. But when I walked in, there was one guy at the bar, who may have been homeless. I decided to throw up my white flag and surrender, and order some chips and salsa and another beer and just watch the rest of the game.

Then I heard from my aunt. She was down to go out with me somewhere and find me a date, so I finished the chips and salsa, and left a full beer on the table and went and picked her up. This could get fun. ha ha.

I swooped up my Aunt, and we went down Powell looking for a place to go. We tried a few different bars, and as soon as we'd go in, they were dead, or didn't have our type of people so we'd give it the once over and be gone. It was turning into a fun little adventure.

Next thing we know we are at the Hub. And it's pretty packed! It looks like there are lots of single guys at this place. Sweet. My Aunt and I start searching for the right candidate, but none are looking like my type really. My Aunt suggests one of the bartenders, and for some reason he just looks to pretty to me. And then he swings his arm, and swung his hips back and forth. Yep. He doesn't like women.

I mention to my Aunt that one of the Bartender's is pretty cute, but he looks like the type that probably takes lots of women home. Total ladies man. Tall. Nice build. Not too beefy, but not too skinny. Looks like he could be a model. I'm not even gonna try him. My Aunt believes he has a girlfriend anyway.

So my Aunt and I are enjoying each other's company and I can't tell if the guy sitting next to me is trying to flirt with us or be rude. I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt, and guess that he was being sarcastic. So I start laughing at some of the rude things that he's saying and play it off. Well, apparantly he wasn't joking and stands up and starts to make a scene. He said something to the fact of, "It's too bad cause I F-ing thought you were cute, and I F-ing liked you, but now you'll never F-ing see me again!" Whoa! My Aunt and I looked at each other in disbelief as he grabbed his beer and stormed out of the bar. Psycho.

2 bartenders then came over quickly to see what that was all about. Both my Aunt and I were kind of speechless and started telling the story about his psycho-ness and then all of a sudden we turned around and he's outside peeking his head through the window and staring at me, mouthing that he's watching me. This guy is starting to really creep me out!

So My Aunt decides it to be a good idea to tell these 2 bartender's that I'm doing the 12 dates of Christmas. And that we're looking for a date for me tonight. The really cute bartender, that I feel is probably out of my league seems intrigued. And then the other bartender who seems really nice, that I'm just not attracted to as much, said "We'll both be your date!" He was of course speaking for the both of them without checking first. He then got some paper, wrote down his name and phone number and wrote "date#8!"... I was very flattered, but it wasn't him that I wanted. I wanted the cutie. Maybe that was wrong of me, but I am not initially attracted to too many people and this guy was definitely doing it for me.

I pleaded my case to the cutie bartender why he should be my date as well. He pleaded that he was probably too busy and that my date #8 would be a good date. You could tell he was trying to stick up for his buddy, which really made me want him more, I'm not gonna lie. He was blushing as I was asking him. Maybe he wasn't the type to go home with girls. And turns out, he doesn't have a girlfriend! Score!

He then told me he would love to be my date #10, but he's just not sure if he will be able to fit it in before christmas. He pulled out his calendar for the next couple of weeks, and he really was busy. He was flying out to San Diego the next day for some other job, so I told him I'd go with him. We joked about how awesome it would be if I went on these dates all around the country. So I told him I'd go with him! He got super red, and it was super cute. Yes, I was being very forward with this guy. But I knew what I wanted, and I was gonna get it. But by the time I was leaving, I still hadn't got him to confirm with me that he would be my date. I vowed in my head that I was going to come back for him. I only knew his first name, but that's all I needed.

As I was leaving I decided to write on the back of the receipt including my youtube link to the 12 dates, my phone number, that we should take the next flight to_________ (fill in the blank) and that he was my lucky date #10! Maybe a bit much, but I always thought guys like it when girls are forward. And it felt right. Oh... and did I mention he was not only a bartender, but he was a commercial helicopter pilot. Sexy! Even though I get motion sickness really easily and helicopter's aren't for me, it was still sexy.

I left with a huge grin on my face, thinking that this was the one that might be more than just a date for my blog. It definitely helped that I had an excuse to be persistent about the date. He was perfect. He barely had enough time to fit me in his schedule. He was super sexy. And he was a Pilot. Meaning, he wouldn't have to take up too much of my time. If we ended up dating, it would almost be like I was single, and I wouldn't get sick of him cause I'd only see him so much. When I start dating guys, I often times feel smothered and they want to take up too much of my time. It's a huge turn off. But this guy was perfectly busy enough to maybe actually date when it was all said and done. I was glowing when I left that night!

So a week later or so, I was browsing the internet and decided to look up Ryan Artists. It's an awesome talent Agency in Portland that I really wanted to audition for, and I was just browsing their pages learning more about them... and all of a sudden under their modeling page, I see this beautifully familiar face. This sexy guy is standing there, and he has the same name as the Bartender. Hmmm... So I click on the link and it had his last name too. He's a model too? Ahh... I should have known!

SO I decide to play sneaky detective, and I put in his last name to see if he has a facebook account. Nope. Dang it. Can't FB stalk him. Ok.... how about Linked In... Bingo! Well crap. The only Linked In account I have is a super old one with an old email address that I never even finished. Alright, it's about time I get a Linked In account anyway. But I can't just throw it together because then he's going to know that I made it just to chat with him. So I filled that whole thing out and made it look really nice and professional. I wanted him to know, that I too was kind of a big deal. Ha ha.

So I couldn't message him on there because we weren't "Friends" so I decided to send him a friend request. In the friend request you can send a message along with it if you want, so I tried to be super sly and act like I didn't care too much and told him that he doesn't have to accept this friend request, but he should probably be my 10th date of Christmas.

Well, not too much long later he had accepted my friend request and I had a new message in my inbox! I tried requesting a few other people on Linked In hoping they would accept my request before the cute bartender did, but of course that didn't happen and I had no friends on there. Dang. Probably so obvious that I had just set up my account to talk to him.

I really didn't care about how date #5 went, or any other date after that. Date #10 was going to be it, and I knew it. Maybe this whole dating thing was going to work out after all! Woop! ;)

On the 8th Date of Christmas...

On the 8th Date of Christmas
W/M/33??? Don't remember his occupation

12/31/11


Well I just had to. I didn't really plan on this date either. Although I had decided that the last 6 dates were going to be on my watch, I hadn't exactly pulled my online dating profile down yet. And then I got the message in my inbox. It was like gold. A dude was from San Francisco and he was going to be in Portland for a few days. A few things were great about this. 1.) He was from out of town, so I wouldn't have to see him again if I didn't want to. 2.) He wasn't going to get attached too quickly because of logistics. And 3.) He was in town for a wedding. But not just any wedding. A wedding on New Year's Eve! And I was invited. Yes.


I knew there was a reason I had decided not to make any specific New Year's Plans with anybody. At a wedding you can't go wrong. People are always drinking and always dancing. This was going to be awesome! Count. Me. In.


Well the night before I had randomly decided to go out with my bestie from HS. We met up with some friends and ended up having a few drinks. It was super fun! We drank. We sang. We danced. We even ended up at a Salsa club and myself and her and my other buddy were probably the only white people in there, but we got our groove on. I stayed on her couch that night and woke up with a bit of a head ache so I had no intention of drinking that night. I wanted to start the New Year off right, and preferably be sober going into it.


Mr. August called me and asked if I would prefer to meet him for lunch before I met him at the wedding reception. No way Jose! I would prefer the surprise element. He was down too. The wedding was at the Fairgate Inn in Camas Washington. I opted to miss the wedding and hit the reception. But what was I going to wear? I had a dress that I could wear that was fancy enough, but it was strapless, and I really didn't want to have any limitations while dancing so I opted for the mall.


I tried on dress after dress, and nothing was speaking to me. Just as I was leaving the mall though and had decided to go for the dress I was originally thinking of, I saw it. It was bright Orange and vibrant colors. It had poofy sleeves from the 80's. It was wild. As soon as I saw it, I knew it would look good on. And it did. I felt hot. It didn't really feel like a fancy wedding reception dress, but it was New Years Eve too and I thought it fit with that theme better, so I went for it in case I had to ditch the wedding for any reason. I accessorized with some awesome feather earrings, a thick black belt to go around the waste and my famous black boots! Plus, I kind of felt like I needed to dress a little bit wild, since I was about to do something wild.


I got home and I tried to nap and just couldn't, so instead I painted my fingernails (something I hadn't done in years!). Me and my roomies pumped up the jams to pump up ourselves for the night and all got ready. We tried on outfits for each other and gave opinions. We walked around the house half naked doing our hair and makeup, giving ourselves hours in advance to relax and get ready. I shaved my legs, my pits, and my bikini line. I put on a thong and some tights, and was feeling fresh! Let's do this!


And speaking of thongs, they are absolutely the most uncomfortable thing anyone has ever come up with. If you disagree with me, you lie. I mean if you're going for no panty lines while in a dress, it's better to be in that than to show your beaver to everyone while stepping out of a vehicle. Sorry Britney. Nothing but love for you... And since I was going to be at a wedding, who knows what kind of dancing I was going to get myself into. Ass floss it is. And hey... if the date bombs, then you never know who is going to be at the wedding that's single if you know what I'm sayin' eh eh eh???... ;) Not really... but fun to think about anyway.


It's finally time. I show up around 9:40 pm. Late enough to where hopefully not many people will notice me coming in. The band has already started, and people should be feeling drunk enough not to care. I get in the parking lot and this Bed and Breakfast is just beautiful. It's super fancy. I instantly start second guessing my outfit. There's no way I'm dressed fancy enough for this joint. I call Mr. August to see if he will come meet me and it goes to voicemail. I'm giving it 10 minutes and if he doesn't call back, I'm just going to go to a friend's party in Gresham. He called back within the minute. Here goes nothing.


It's freezing outside but I am sweating already. At least my dress has enough colors that you can't notice too much when I'm pitting out. Why am I nervous all of a sudden? This is a rare feeling for me, especially in this kind of situation. My hands are balmy and I feel like I'm about to do a public speech that I haven't prepared for. Holy crap.


He starts walking towards me, but it's dark. I can barely make him out. I really only looked at his profile picture once. I didn't really care all too much who I was meeting, I just liked the fact that he was 6'4". That will make up for anything else that may be wrong with his physical appearance, at least to get me through the night. We instantly hug when we meet. Already better than a lot of the first encounters I've come across on this whole dating adventure. I can't really make out his face, but let's get inside and start dancing.


Turns out the band was a Beatle's Cover Band. I was super stoked. But I wouldn't get to enjoy it yet because it was now time for the bride to toss the boquet to all of the single ladies. What the heck. I could see people staring at me as I set my purse and coat in the corner and lined up with the only other 3 single girls there. Who is this girl? was written all over their faces. And it's not like my outfit blended in with the evening attire. I didn't really feel like catching it though, since there was a girl on crutches that came out. She can have it. And she did. Phew. Glad that was over. Now it's his turn to catch the Garter.


Man. I thought I was going to have missed all of that stuff, but oh well. It was entertaining at least. And then Mr. August asked if we could go to his room and chat. He was staying at the bed and breakfast there that night. I set my purse and coat down in his room and we started chatting. "So... what do you do?" conversation started. Dang it, I thought I was going to avoid this whole awkward job interview feeling since I would be at a wedding, but it turns out he still wanted to have it. I felt more nervous than an important job interview. I really wanted a drink, but I still refrained. I needed to stay in control tonight. Plus, I don't need a drink to have fun, but just one might have helped a little.


Now that that's over with, let's dance already! We danced and it was cool. I tried to make friends on the dance floor and introduced myself to the only single ladies dancing by themselves and joined in. One of them happened to be an 11 year old girl. I think I'll be friends with her tonight! Mr. August was getting himself a drink as I was mingling and dancing and making friends. When he finally made his way out to the dance floor, one of the ladies that I had just met introduced me to him. Ha. "I'm his date." I announced.


Well Mr. August decided he was going to be embarassed letting his friends know that he met me online, so he made up a story that I was his roommate from college's cousin and I had visited him at school a couple of times, and that he had to see me when I was here. I let him do the talking as I watched his friends looks of confusion as he fumbled on the story. Good times.


I made friends with the band instantly, and was chatting them up all night. Looking over their set list. Making sure they had music playing, when they were on break. They needed a little help it seemed. But they were super sweet and seemed to enjoy my company. I continued to drink water for the night.


I was finally starting to loosen up and I busted a move like nobody's business. I watched as the clock got closer to midnight, the guests got friendlier and drunker. It was hilarious. One older couple was dancing and twirling and then the husband let go of his wife and she kept spinning and came tumbling into the crowd of dancers, destined to fall on her butt and break a hip. I was feeling rather Zoro-esque though, and felt like it happened in slow motion. I saw the damsel in distress, and my cat-like reflexes instantly grabbed her before she tumbled, and we were all of a sudden as close as two lovers would be, and she was in my arms. Well hello mam. I felt like I should go in for the kiss, but that may have been over kill. "Nice catch." she tells me. And I free her back to her husband. It's now an instant party.


The band is playing almost all oldies and I am loving it! I know all the words to almost every single song. I finally decide to take my boots off and I moon walk across the floor back to my date. The guests are going wild. They are eating me up. Drunk husbands are starting to feel like it's a good idea to come and talk to me, I'm not sure that the drunk wives were feeling quite as friendly though. The older women and men love me though. I'm not sure what it is about the older crowd, but I just fit right in with them, and they were my dancing partners for the night.


The date himself was alright. He was nice, but almost a little too friendly. I was his date, and he wanted to claim his territory. His hands were all over my ass all night. I didn't really care all too much, cause my dress did show off my booty rather nicely, so I couldn't blame the guy. The more he drank, the lower his hand would get. We boogied down, and slow danced too. It was fun, but I wasn't all too interested in him. Good for the night though.


Finally, midnight was approaching and I knew what was coming. I was completely sober at this point, but I'm usually always down for a little new years kiss. Almost everyone at the wedding had a date, so I probably did this guy a favor by being his for the night. He wouldn't have had anyone to kiss at midnight otherwise. We all counted down with the band and at the strike of midnight, we toasted with a sip of champagne and a New Years Kiss. It was not inappropriate at all. It was like an old movie kiss with no tongue. It swayed from side to side, but we kept it classy. After the kiss was over we started walking the other direction, and then he went in for a second kiss. Alright buud, don't push your luck.


"It's too bad the band didn't have someone to kiss at midnight..." Says Mr. August.


Within the minute, each band member had received a happy news years kiss on the cheek from yours truly. They loved it. I could sense the other lady's eyes burning on me though. Oops.


It's time to wrap up the night and the band is looking for their final song. I ask them to play that funky music, and they dedicated the white boy song to me, or rather "The beautiful young lady, passing out kisses."


We get down and they have us form 2 lines to have a dance off down the aisle. Couples are taking turns, and when Mr. August got to the front of the line, he called for me to join him, but I had something else in mind. I was gonna win this competition, and I didn't need him to mess it up for me. I had danced with him all night anyway, so I pawned off the 11 year old on him that got too nervous to go so he went by himself. Everyone had gone, and it was my turn to show em up. Bring it bitches. ha. I could see Mr. August trying to make his way back to the front of the line not to leave me hanging, but that's exactly what I wanted, so I hurried out there. And then I dropped to the floor. And here I go in my dress and all. The worm. Or the Caterpillar. Whatever you want to call it. It was go big or go home at this point. I'm now really glad that I opted for the Ass floss rather than the bare bottom that night. The guests roared with cheers and were in complete dis-belief that I had just done that. They had no idea that the Brown Bomb (Me) had just been dropped on them. Luckily (or unluckily) both of my sister's weren't there too, to add to the excitement.


Mother in laws, Father in laws, Grandmas, Uncles, Cousins, you name it were coming up to me to chat me up. They all smiled at me, and I could see everyone in the room chatting about me. It was hilarious. I think at this point I was officially a wedding crasher, if it wasn't official before. Mr. August really wanted me to stay. We all sat down chatting as he rubbed each of my feet. A girl could get used to this. "Well you deserve it." Yes... now that's what I'm talking about. I LOVE foot rubs! In fact, I love any type of massage. The harder the better really. I want to see those man hands work. But, no. I'm still not staying the night with you. I didn't stay sober for nothing.


Mr. August walked me back up to his room so I could get my stuff. This time he is practically begging for me to stay the night with him. He doesn't care. He'll sleep on the floor. He'll sleep in the hall. He's pleading at all costs. Sorry, but the answer is still no. I'm driving home and having breakfast with my family in the morning. He leans in to kiss me again. I take a step back. "I really should be going." He poors himself a shot of some type of pinkish alcohol and tells me I was supposed to be drinking that with him. I'm not sure how drunk this guy is, but he's pretty waisted.


"Come to San Francisco for my birthday." He shouts. "I will fly you there and take care of you. It will be fun." I play along with him to please him, but I'm really just interested in leaving the drunk mess at this point. "Can you at least stay a little longer so I can play with your ass?" Really?


"No, you can't. I'm going. Good night."


I left. Feeling pretty proud of myself for staying sober and having a good time. But not only that, but as I was leaving everyone was saying goodbye on a first name basis and telling Mr. August how much they loved me. I got home and got a text from him, telling me how he was talking to the bride and groom's parents and they were telling him how much of a hit I was, and then he was trying to convince me to move to San Fran. Mission accomplished. Ha.


Happy New Year!

On the 7th Date of Christmas...

On the 7th Date of Christmas

Mr. July

W/M/32 Financial something or other

This was actually an accidental date. I met Mr. July when I had first moved to the hood in SE Portland a few months ago. It was my first night on the town and I was exploring my neighborhood. I decided to go into the Brooklyn Park Pub (on foot) and had my first drink there. I sat at my own table, and there was this guy sitting at the bar that was being super chatty with the bartender, and kept looking back at me. Once he realized I was sitting by myself, he started chatting with me. He was very friendly, but a little over the top for me. Kind of a beefy dude. I was actually hoping to see another guy that night. I'll just call this guy Mr. Wrong.

Mr. Wrong is wrong in so many ways. He's much older, in a loveless marriage, and has a couple of kids. I have known him for years. I won't go into too much more details to save the privacy of his identity, but I love that guy to death. Mr. Wrong and I have always just been friends, but somewhere over the last 6 months or so that changed unexpectedly. I'm not one to develop feelings for a guy very easily, and I think the fact that this guy was somewhat unattainable and "safe" drew me closer to him. It's easy to love, when you know you have nothing to lose. You can be yourself, when it doesn't matter. Enough on Mr. Wrong, because he doesn't deserve much more than a paragraph.

When I was at the Brooklyn Park Pub, Mr. July decided to come sit with me at my table. He actually was making decent conversation with me, but all I could think about was how excited I was to see Mr. Wrong that evening. Mr. July had put in a lot of effort though, and I recognized that, so I gave him my number. He was new to town and was looking for some more friends. He actually left the Pub to meet up with some other friends so I was off the hook! Alllrriiight. :)

Feeling good from my first drink, I decide to keep walking and see what else my new little neighborhood had to offer. I found the Bear Paw. The Bear Paw is a total dive bar, but it had Karaoke. I do love to sing, but generally not a huge fan of Karaoke. I'm a performer, and the fact that Karaoke is unrehearsed makes me a little uneasy about it. But I don't know a single soul, and I decide to order another drink and sign up for any and every song I can. Not only do I sing my songs, but I helped every performer sing their songs when they couldn't get the words right! It was a blast! This was going to be a fun night.

Then as I was singing Carrie Underwood's "Last Name" and serinating the crowd I made eye contact with a guy at the bar. It was Mr. July again. Crap. Now, do I have to hang out with this guy tonight? What if Mr. Wrong show's up? This could get awkward fast. But whatever. I don't owe either of these guys anything. I'm having a good time, regardless. Maybe they will both want to hang out with me? I 'll be such a pimp. But time to break the seal first. Gotta pee!

As I come out of the bathroom, I totally forgot that I saw Mr. July at the bar, and I heard the end of The Little Mermaid's "Part of Your World" Playing and people were cheering. Damn it! That's my favorite song in the world! Or at least it felt like it at the moment. How could I have missed that? I charge the guy coming back from the Karaoke machine.

"Dude! Did you just sing the Little Mermaid Song?!" I scream in excitement.

"Yup." He replies

"Ooh man. That's my favorite song ever! Can't believe I missed it! Wanna sing it again?"

This complete stranger and I lock eyes for what seems to be an hour, but rather it's the length of the whole song. We are in perfect unison as we sing to each other, in perfect harmony the Little Mermaid Theme song. Our hands are locked as he sways me back and forth and nobody else is in the room. We are having the most amazing time of our life. The finale of the song is about to happen, and he sweeps me off my feet and carries me like a new bride and we spin as we finish the song. And then I see him. Mr. Wrong has locked eyes with me and suddenly I'm back in reality that I'm in this stranger's arms. I slide down, thank him for the song, and am instantly drawn towards Mr. Wrong.

"You can't be left alone anywhere D." Mr. Wrong confesses with a grin.

He seriously knows me so well and just makes me smile every time I see him. I didn't know what to expect when I saw him that night, but as soon as he was there, I wanted nothing but to let him know that I was his and only his, if not just for this moment in time while he had me. We hung out at the bar and chatted for a little bit longer and held each other, not caring who else was around and then he stayed the night with me. No we didn't bone. And I don't plan on it. He needs to figure out his life before he gets that part of mine, but I was happy to have him stay with me. He snuck out around 6am, and then reality set in. I'm just the other girl. How did I get here? I'm better than this, and deserve better than this. I know it. But, I still want this. I still want to be his. damn it.

I got a phone call from Mr. July the next day. I just so happened to be parked at my Sister's house about to leave and I saw that I missed a call. They didn't leave a message, so my curiosity got the best of me. Dang it. It was Mr. July. We actually chatted on the phone for a good half hour. I confessed to him during this conversation that had I had his number, I probably wouldn't have called back, but I was surprised and actually enjoyed chatting with him. I don't think anything is wrong with honesty. We made plans for the next night.

Mr. Wrong had left town, and before he left town he was supposed to help me with something, and he let me down again. Screw it, I'm having fun with Mr. July tonight, whether it's wrong or right! I don't owe Mr. Wrong anything! We ended up having a pretty fun night. But I wanted to drink away my pain, so we walked to a bunch of different bars and had drinks at each one. He was a know it all, and was kind of hard to listen to at first. But we both loosened up after a few drinks. It was just an okay time for me, but I was feeling good and we kissed goodnight at the door. I was actually pretty surprised that he came in for the kiss... but had to admire his balls.

He texted and called after that, and I really didn't feel like seeing him again. Not that he was a bad person, but I just wasn't interested in dating him. I really just needed him for that night. And that's the extent I wanted it to go. He got the hint I think and I hadn't heard from him in a while, and then the other night (months later... And this in real time is late December)I was having a pretty down night. Mr. Wrong was texting me and I'd just had it emotionally. Quit toying with my heart. I'm not even sure if Mr. Wrong was available if I'd want to be with him or not, but the fact that I don't have that option makes me feel like a pretty horrible person for believing there's a chance, when I know deep down there isn't. I had been on the 6 dates of Christmas already and just ready to quit. The feeling of defeat was running through my veins. And then the tears came. The chocolate dissappeared. And my heart broke. Just for a split second. I was allowing myself to feel pain. And be okay with it. Just give me the night.

And then amidst all of the pain I was feeling, I got a text from Mr. July. He was telling me how much I sucked for not getting back to him, and that I needed to just tell him that I wasn't interested if that was the case. He then continued to tell me how he'd been dating tons of other women and to not think that I was hot stuff because he had plenty of other women to choose from. WTF. First off, I don't even know this guy and don't owe him anything. Second, if he hasn't gotten the hint that I'm not interested by now, that's his own problem. And third, I hate that I have hurt someone's feeling's regardless whether it was justified or not, and I want to make things right, but tonight is not the night to mess with me. I let him have it. I told him he was being a dick, and that I didn't need to hear it from him. And that I could care less how many other women he was dating, and by him telling me all of that made him sound like a tool and that no, I am not interested.

He was actually very pleased to get this response from me. He said he was glad to have gotten some kind of reaction from me to show that I cared at all. Then he called me. Texting sucks, because you can't really hear tone anyway. So we chatted for the next hour, and I cried on the phone to him. To an almost complete stranger. And I told him why I hadn't gotten back to him. I told him about Mr. Wrong. And I told him I was sad. I was sorry if I hurt his feelings, because I didn't mean to, but in fact my feelings were hurt too.

He was a very good sport and had me let it all out, and tried to say the right words, which most men can't. But it was sweet none the less. I felt like I wanted to show my gratitude towards him. We are neighbors and he wants to make friends and network. We agreed that we are just going to be friends, but that we should still make an effort to hang out. This was made very clear. So the other night I was at work. I was starving and had been outside in the rain all night. I remember he said he loved to cook for other people, so I made an effort and reached out. I asked him straight up if he wanted to cook me dinner. I'll bring the wine. He was down.

We had leftover home made spaghetti and meatballs. I brought Wine. I kept him company in the kitchen while he cooked. He burnt the bottom of the pan, and teased that a pretty girl in his kitchen made him nervous. I was in sweats, and had refused to shower before coming over. It was hot and I was totally pitting out, and probably sweating from my forehead. My hair was frizzy from the rain, and probably mascara running from my eyes. I didn't really care. Not trying to impress anybody.

We listened to music. Had good chats. Drank some wine. Flirted a little bit, but I flirt with everybody, so I didn't think it was weird. My plate of food was much bigger than his, and then I realized I had practically licked my plate, and he couldn't finish his. Dang. We both laughed about this. It was getting close to midnight, and I was proud that I had made a new friend. And then it was time to go.

"Thank you so much Mr. July for having me over for dinner tonight. I really appreciated it. It's getting pretty late though, so I'm going to take off."

The look on his face was that of a child who had just been told no to the last piece of candy. I was a little confused with the look but I guess we were having a good time, and I can see why he still wanted me to hang out, but it will be alright dude. And then he went for the kill. Totally grabbed my face and started kissing me. Crap! Does this guy not remember the conversation we had a couple nights ago? I don't think this is an act of friends buuud! Do I really have to have this conversation again? And he's still kissing me...

The kissing continues because he's being so aggressive and I don't want to hurt his feelings. I'm trying to give the shortest kisses possible and smoothly transition out of this, but he has another thing planned. He starts pulling me towards the couch. I can feel him trying to get me to lay down so he can have his way with me, and I fight his strength to stay upright, but he's a former body builder, so it's not the easiest task. What have I gotten myself into? Finally I break free of this nonsense and try to crack a joke.

"Well I've got to admire your tenacity." I say, in a moment of awkwardness. At this point, I'm not even sure if tenacity was the right word to use, or what it even means, so I start fake laughing to hide the fact I have no idea what I just said.

He give me the look of seduction. But not the look you want to see. More the look of the guy in the creeper van that asks if you want any candy. Eek. And he says in a sultry voice, " I should have started this 2 hours ago. You're an amazing Kisser." Eek. Get me outa here! But I was tempted to stay and show him how good I could really kiss, since he thought my pulling away was good. Not worth it D. Get out of there.

At this point in time I realize this guy is stopping for nothing, so I grab what I could and I get out the door as quick as possible. Did that really just happen? He begins to tell me how it's crazy how strong our connection is and that we definitely need to see each other before 3 months passes. I realize then that I left my cheese and meat there that I also brought, but I cut my losses and ditch. It's not worth it to go back in there. I also realize then, this guy is crazy to think that our connection is that strong. It's definitely going to be a heck of a lot more than 3 months before I see him again, if I ever do! I guess this means the Brooklyn Park Pub will no longer be getting my business.

And so much for choosing my own dates! Sometimes dates just happen. And I am proud to say I have not spoken with Mr. Wrong in months. Romantically, he's definitely not on my radar. And as far as Mr. July goes... I apologized to him for the night before and told him I wasn't interested still. I think he finally got it. Date #8 here we come!